After Big Time Rush
by KendallsWifey112
Summary: Almost 10 years after Big Time Rush ended the boys have lost touch and have moved on but what happens when a death brings them back together and face to face with four girls that they have all but forgotten...
1. Chapter 1

After BTR Chapter 1!

Kendall Knight/ Natalie Rose Sawyer

Logan Mitchell/ Natasha Mills

James Diamond/ Lily Carolina

Carlos Garcia/ MaKenna DelBrook

~Kendall's Point of View~

It all happened so fast, one day I was in Minnesota playing with my team, the Minnesota Wild and the next I was being whisked back to my hometown after a cousin had been murdered.

I was now 27 and was doing very well for myself.

I had a great job, a nice house and lots of money and was free and single.

It had been almost 10 years since my band; "Big Time Rush" had broken up.

We all decided to do our own thing, the band was doing amazing but, we all had other things we wanted to do.

I with my hockey, Logan with his school, Carlos and the military and James and his solo career, we had slowly lost touch and now all at once, I was being pulled back into my past that I had tried so hard to forget.

I pulled into the drive way of my mom's house, several cars sat parked in the street and driveway it was hard to find a spot.

My heart thudded in my chest as I turned the door knob and entered the house, a few people where walking through the house, aunts and uncles and in the corner I spotted three boys one dressed in Marine fatigues and the other two in black suits they all had small plates filled with small pieces of food.

The caught sight of me and all three nodded slightly as did I and I went off to find my mother and sister.

I found my mom in the kitchen my sister sitting at the island that sat in the middle of the kitchen.

I walked over to my mom and placed a kiss on her cheek, my now 21 year old sister looked at me and smiled I gave her a light hug and kissed the top of her forehead.

"Hey honey, how are you?" my mom asked.

"I'm good." I said picking up a cracker with a piece of cheese on it and shoved it into my mouth.

My sister was nibbling on a piece of fruit. "Did you see James, Logan and Carlos?" my mom asked turning from the stove.

"Oh I just saw them on the way in. I didn't stop to talk though; I SHOULD go do that hu?" I asked looking down at my baby sister.

"Uh, yeah!" my sister said giving me a look.

I adjusted my suit and headed back to where I spotted the boys.

They were still in the same spot talking.

I took a deep breath and approached them.

I smiled as they noticed me as I got closer.

I shook each of their hands and smiled.

"Hey how are you?" I asked them.

"Good." I got from each of them.

I nodded, we grew silent not seeing each other in almost 10 tears we didn't have much to say to each other.

"So, how's the hockey thing?" Carlos asked rolling his uniform hat in his hands, "Great, great." I said.

"I try to watch you when I can but the whole military thing keeps me super busy." He said.

"Eh, it's okay. How about you hu? The military? Who would've thunk it." I said smiling and the Mexican boy.

"Yeah, well you know how much energy I had when I was younger, it was just the right thing to do I thought." He said.

"Well I'm happy for you Carlos." I said smiling and looking to the next boy who was Logan.

"So, medical school, Hu?" I asked he nodded, "Yeah, you know I've been wanting to do this forever and now well, I'm almost done!" he said smiling.

"And you James, wow, I saw you're last movie and bought your last CD. Good work man." I said smiling at the brunette boy obviously flattered by my comment.

"Aw, dang thanks man." He said shaking my hand.

I nodded and smiled.

"Hey by the way man, sorry about your cousin you know we all loved her." Logan said.

"Yeah, thanks it's been a hand few days." I said.

I heard the front door open and I looked to see two girls and a small child with one of them.

I looked in confusion so did Carlos.

My eyes widened, "Natalie? Natalie Rose Sawyer?" I asked in confusion, she looked up and smiled.

"H…hey Kendall." She said smiling.

"Oh my god. Wow, you are… wow." I said smiling.

~Natalie's Point of View~

I slowly approached the house a house I had been to so many times in my past, snow lightly fell onto the already icy ground.

My SUV passed a few cars before I parked it at the end of the long line of cars.

My 9 year old sat in the backseat wining about wanting to play with his friends instead of being here.

"Look, we got to be here, I promise we won't be here long. I promise." I said smiling at him.

He sighed and nodded, it was already dark out and only an few lights from a few houses lit the street.

I turned to my friend in the front seat, Makenna.

"You ready for this?" I asked. Makenna nodded and sighed, "Okay, let's go." I said.

Makenna shakily got out of the car and my son jumped out and slid across the icy road and jumped into a pile of snow at the edge of the road.

"Kendall! Stop it; you're going to mess up your suit!" I said.

My son hung his head and kicked a chunk of snow all the way to the door.

We opened the door and there, right in front of us, not more than 30 feet stood the four boys from our past, my sons bottoms of his black pants had snow littered across them.

I sighed and stood there for a minute, forgetting I was letting all the cold air in.

Kendall approached, me, "Natalie? Natalie Rose Sawyer?" he asked.

"H…Hey Kendall." I said. "Wow, you look, wow!" he said.

"Hey, Kendall! That's MY name!" my blonde son said from my side.

"Kendall, shh!" I said down to him, he angrily crossed his hands across his chest and pouted.

"Well, bud, you know in the kitchen I think my mom has some mini hot dogs. Why don't you go get some?" Kendall said smiling down at him.

A smile spread across his face as he ran off.

Carlos was about 10 steps behind Kendall.

"Makenna?" Carlos said.

"Carlos!" Makenna said.

"Wow, hey, look at you." He said.

"Look at you! The military?" she asked he smiled and spun around.

Kendall and I watched for a minute as my son disappeared into the kitchen.

"So, is he, yours?" Kendall asked.

I nodded, "Yes, he is." I said smiling at him.

"He's…cute." Kendall said looking at my son in the kitchen sitting with Katie happily snacking and talking to Katie.

Mrs. Knight turned around and sort of did a double take and shook her head a bit.

"H…How old is he?" Kendall asked sort of scared of that question.

"He will be ten in 2 months." I said.

Kendall looked as if he was going to pass out.

Carlos caught him, "Whoa buddy!" Carlos said standing up his woozy friend.

"You okay Kendall?" Carlos asked.

"Um, yeah." He said.

"You sure? You look a little green." His friend asked.

"I'm good Carlos." He said smiling down at his small friend.

Kendall reached behind us and shut the door and took my wrist and led me upstairs.

He took me into a room that I had been in so many times before.

Posters of the boys and old hockey players littered the walls along with about 20 or 30 metals and trophy's for hockey and various other sports including 4 gold records.

His bed was neatly made and on his nightstand sat a picture a very old picture of him and me at some music awards around the time that everything went downhill.

Kendall paced back and forth in his small room, "Kendall you okay?" I asked smoothing out my black skirt and sitting on the bed, he got a VERY serious look on his face…

"Nat, is he…he mine?" he asked.

I sighed and knew this would happen on day,

"Yes." I said.

He wrung his fingers through his blonde hair.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Kendall asked.

"Well after I found out everything was going wrong, we were fighting, the band was breaking up, I got into school and well, after you got onto the team, I was 6 months pregnant and didn't want to worry you with it." I said looking down at my hands.

"Nat, why? If that's my son why did you never tell me?" he asked.

"Everything went so fast after we broke up and I think I did really well, he's going to be 10, my mom and sister helped me with him when I was in school and working and after I graduated I was still at home until about 4 years ago when we got our house." I said.

"But Natalie, that's MY son! Didn't you think that I would want to be in his life?" he asked.

"Kendall, not once,  
>ONCE in almost 10 years have you called and asked how I was. I saw your life play out on sports shows and new broadcasts and we were together for almost 2 years and have you not thought about me once?" I asked tears starting in my eyes, "Of course, all the time!" he said rubbing my shoulders, "Then why in all this time, nothing. No calls, no letters, not even an E-Mail." I said.<p>

"Look, I'm sorry, I know I screwed up, but Nat, you are sometimes all I think about, I always imagine you sitting in the stands at my games and if I go home to an empty house I wish you were there to greet me and I Imagined us married with kids by now when we were together." He said.

"Then why, why did you leave me, why did you not try to get in touch with me?" I asked.

"I honestly have no excuse, I always thought you were moved on, married with family." He said. I shook my head, "I have to go find my son." I said starting towards the door.

"Our. Our son." Kendall mumbled, I shook my head and didn't turn around and exited out the door to be face to face with four faces,

I smiled, "You boys will never change hu?" I asked smiling and I took Makenna and headed downstairs wiping a few stray tears as they escaped my eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

After Big Time Rush Chapter 2!

"Wait! Natalie what are you doing!" Makenna asked looking to the top of the stairs to see Carlos watching her as she left.

"I want to leave we are getting KJ and leaving." I said.

"Wait why?" she asked.

"I just, REALLY need to leave… This was a bad idea." I said.

"But Nat he had to find out eventually. He and KJ couldn't go through life not knowing each other." She said stopping me.

"But it was better him not knowing, I thought I had everything figured out. My job, my family, my life…" I said.

"Natalie, he HAD to find out and you owe it to KJ by introducing them and telling him the truth." Makenna said giving me a look, she was right…

I did owe it to my son.

Kendall appeared downstairs, "How long are you going to be in town?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, a week why?" he asked.

"Well, where are you staying?" I asked.

"The Hyatt." He said.

I took a pen from my purse and took Kendall's hand, "Call me tomorrow, but you better think about this carefully. If you insist on being in Kendall's life, you BETTER stick with it. I'm not going to introduce him to his dad and then you go and disappear." I said writing my last few digits down and placing the cap on my pen.

He took out a card, "Here's my number." He said handing me the card.

I rolled my eyes and saw my son walking around with Katie.

"Hey you, ready to go?" I asked bending down and smiling at my son.

He nodded, "Great, let's go." I said holding out my hand.

"Wait, Natalie?" Katie asked.

"Hey Katie." I said smiling.

"He's yours?" she asked a bit shocked.

"Oh yeah, this is my son Kendall." I said smiling.

"Kendall? He's named after…Kendall?" she asked.

I sighed, "He's named after his father." I said hanging my head.

"What?" Katie yelled through the now suddenly quiet house.

"Shhh!" I said. Katie suddenly looked like Kendall about 20 minutes ago.

"That's my brother's son?" she asked.

"Um, yeah." I said.

"Oh my god. Wow." She said.

"Yeah…" I said. Katie sat on the nearby couch, the same couch that the boys found out about Kendall getting his big break.

Pictured littered the walls behind her of the two of them and even a picture of the four boys and us four girls.

I sighed remembering the good times.

"Wow, so many years have passed." I said sitting next to the fully grown Katie.

"Ha, Yeah. So many memories. Wow, you and the boys have been through so much. Everything went so fast at the end it was like one minute we were all laughing and joking and the next everyone was gone… God, I was just 12 when all that happened. Now I'm going to be 22. It's so weird…" Katie said scanning from one picture to the next.

I smiled at her and couldn't believe that she was going to be 22.

I scanned the pictures on the wall, they all made me smile.

I was lost in my thoughts when my son walked over.

"Mommy can we go now?" he asked.

I sighed, "Yeah, let's go find auntie Kenna and go." I said smiling at my son.

"Wait, Nat, you should go say hi to my mom and tell her about Kendall." Katie said.

I looked at my son as he grunted.

"10 more minutes KJ promise." I said he sighed and nodded.

He followed me to the kitchen.

"Mrs. Knight?" I said lowly.

She spun around, "Natalie? Nat Sawyer?" she asked squinting a bit.

"Yeah hey how are you?" I asked.

She basically ran to me and hugged me.

"Oh my god it's been almost ten years! How are you?" she asked.

"Great, I'm a nurse at Mercy and I have someone to introduce you to." I said.

My son appeared in the kitchen, "Mrs. Knight, this is KJ my son." I said.

"He's yours? He was in here earlier he looks like Kendall." She said smiling down at him.

"Um, actually, KJ stands for Kendall Knight Junior." I said.

Mrs. Knight had to grip the counter to keep from falling over.

"Wow, is he, you know, my sons?" she asked.

"Um, yes." I said.

"I have a grandson?" she asked.

"Oh yeah. Look I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, I thought it would just be better for Kendall's career if he didn't know." I said.

She sighed, "It's okay Nat, better now than never." She said wrapping me in an embrace a few tears fell from my eyes.

"KJ, this is your grandma, say hello." I said turning to my son.

"I already have a grandma." My son said.

"KJ this is your daddy's mom." I said.

"Oh, hello. So is my daddy here?" he asked looking around.

I sighed and look at Mrs. Knight. She took over, "He left already honey.  
>Maybe someday soon you can meet him." She said smiling at him.<p>

"Oh." My son looked sad.

"Sorry KJ." She said.

He shrugged, "Well, we have to get going Mrs. Knight. It was really nice to see you. Here's my number, call me, I'll bring Kendall over one day soon and you can get to know him." I said writing my number down on a napkin and handing it to her.

She smiled and nodded, "Yeah sounds good maybe he can come over one day while you're at work." She said.

"Sounds good, please call me." I said she nodded and hugged me.

"Come on KJ. Lets go." I said grabbing my son's hand.

Makenna was writing something down on a piece of paper and handing it to Carlos when we walked out the door.

We got into my car and started driving home when my son asked me something that made me break down, "Mommy, does Daddy love me?" he asked.

I was speechless I had to pull over and have Makenna drive from there.

"KJ, it wasn't your daddy's choice to not be around it was mine." I said as we started driving again my tear stained cheeks.

"Why mommy?" he asked.

"Kendall, when you are old enough I will tell you the whole story. But you are too young to understand right now. I bet your daddy would love you if he knew you." I said smiling.

"Auntie Kenna did you know my daddy?" he asked.

"Yes, he is a good man, and your 3 uncles are good guys too. They would love you if they knew you." She said smiling into the rear view mirror at my son.

"Your aunt Lily and Auntie Nat knew your daddy too." I said turning around facing my son.

"Really?" he asked.

I nodded, "Did they know my uncles?" he asked.

"Yeah the 8 of us where best friends. If your uncles and dad knew about you you'd be their little boy." I said smiling at my son.

"Will I ever get to meet them?" he asked.

"Maybe one day." I said a tear fell from my eye.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, I love you KJ you are a good boy. Don't ever change you remind me a lot of your dad. He is a good guy." I said.

"Good, I want to be like him except the not being around part." He said.

I laughed, "Well you're stuck with me buddy for the rest of your life." I said smiling at him.

"I love you mom. Your the best." He said smiling.

I smiled at him and turned back around.

We pulled into my driveway and Makenna got out and so did I and Kendall jumped out of the car.

I unlocked the door and entered the house. "KJ go get ready for bed, I will be up soon to tuck you in." I said.

He nodded and stomped up the stairs.

I pressed the button on my answering machine and listened to the messages.

Then a familiar voice came over the machine, "Nat? hey it's Kendall, I've been giving a lot of thought to what you said and want to be in KJ's life and yours. Is it possible to come over tomorrow, I'll bring the boys and we can catch up. Not sure if you still talk to Lily and Natasha but you should invite them over and the 8 of us can catch up. I…I miss you Nat. Please call me. Bye." He said and hung up.

I looked at Makenna, I shrugged, "It's worth a shot." She said.

She shrugged and picked up the phone and handed it to me.

I dialed Kendall's number.

"Hello?" the voice on the other line asked.

"Hey, Kendall? It's Natalie."

"Oh hey, did you get my message?"

"Yeah, hey why don't you and the boys come over tomorrow I'll invite Lily and Natasha and we can all catch up."

"Cool sounds good."

"Oh my address is 7650 Martin Dr. why don't you guy's come over after KJ's hockey practice about 1 pm."

"KJ plays hockey?"

"Yeah he's a natural like his daddy."

I could hear Kendall smiling on the other end we finalized plans and hung up I called Lily and Natasha and told them to come over tomorrow and that I had a surprise for them.

We agreed for them to come over at 12:30 right before the boys.

"KJ's got hockey until 1 and then after you will get to see your surprise." I said into the phone to Lily.

"Nat what's going on?" she asked.

"You'll see tomorrow. I have to go its KJ's bed time." I said

"Okay Natasha and I will be over tomorrow at 12:30. Bye Nat." Lily said.

"Bye Lily and tell Natasha I said bye." I said we hung up.

I looked at Makenna

"You're making a good decision. I'm excited to see Carlos and the other boys. It's been too long…" she said I nodded.

"Well I'm going to tuck in KJ and then go to bed. I'll see you in the morning." I said I hugged my friend and then she headed to her room and headed upstairs to KJ's room.

I entered his room and he was watching his tv.

"Hey buddy. So I got a surprise for you after hockey tomorrow." I said.

"What is it?" he asked getting under his covers, "If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?" I asked looking at him.

He nodded, "Night buddy." I said kissing his head and walking over to the door, I turned out the light and went to close the door when my son spoke, "Mom?" he asked.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I love you, you're a great mom. With or without my dad around." He said.

I smiled, "I love you too Kendall. Good night." I said.

"Night mom." He said and rolled over.

I smiled at him and closed the door.

I sighed and headed off to bed I had a big day tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

After BTR Chapter 3!

*A/N: Sorry it took so long to update! Been sooo busy w/ school and work!*

~The Next Day~

I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to prepare my house for the boy's arrival Makenna had been nice enough to take KJ to practice.

I was a nervous wreck, Lily and Natasha showed up at 12:15.

I answered the door and the girls where all smiles.

"Damn Nat-Nat you look like a wreck!" Lily said.

"Gee thanks if you guys knew why you'd be freaking out too." I said.

"Nat, there's food in the oven and on the stove please watch it and Lily there's a pile of stuff in the office can you please take it to the garage? I HAVE to get in the shower." I said running my hand through my hair.

They nodded in compliance and headed off.

I went upstairs and into my room to get ready I got out of the shower at 12:30 and was finished getting ready at 12:50.

I came down stairs and finished the food MaKenna and KJ came in and he was talking Kenna's ear off.

He noticed Natasha and Lily and ran and hugged them.

"Auntie Kenna took me to practice and we had sooo much fun after practice she bought me a corndog and she was flirting with Coach Anderson!" he said.

"Oh so you liking hockey players hasn't subsided yet hu?" I said she punched my arm.

"Okay, KJ go shower and your surprise will be here soon." I said smiling at my sweaty son.

He nodded and ran upstairs all of his equipment dragging behind him.

"Oh he needs a new stick, he's outgrowing that one." Kenna said turning to my son who was stomping up the stairs.

We sat down with glasses of wine and Natasha went digging through my CD's to find some music.

She pulled up some CD's and showed me, "Really Nat-Nat? Do you still listen to these?" she asked flashing 4 CD's with pictures of the boys on them.

I blushed, "And? So what?" I said trying to defend myself.

"Aww, so cute you still got a little school girl crush on Kendall." She said smiling.

"So what? She looks at his face every day she has a piece of him running around. Damn you have no idea what I'd do to see James again! Well besides in movies and cd's." Lily said.

Good ole Lily she was always running to my defense but then would ruin it with a comment.

Kenna and I exchanged glances and smiled just as the doorbell rang.

Natasha was going through the CDs still and Lily was drinking her wine.

I answered the door and the four boys stood there all dressed nice Kendall was in front then Logan was on the left and James and Carlos on the right James had a stupid grin on his face.

I gave them the "shhh." Look and signaled them in.

"Who is it Nat-Nat?" Lily asked and James' face lit up.

They stepped into the house and I honestly wish I had a camera at that moment their faces where priceless.

Nat dropped the cd's sending the disc's flying and Lily spit her wine all over my table and floor.

Everyone stood frozen for a bit until my son appeared downstairs.

"Who are they?" KJ asked.

All 8 faces turned to him and looks of shock came over Lily and Natasha's faces realizing what was going on.

"Um, KJ I need to talk to you, you remember Kendall from yesterday right?" I said.

He nodded. "Hey buddy." He said giving him a high five.

"Okay well, boy's there's beer in the fridge um, me KJ and Kendall are going to go upstairs and talk and you guys can catch up." I said smiling and walking with Kendall and KJ upstairs and into my son's room.

My heart raced, KJ's room was a mess, action figures and toys and clothes where sprawled around the room.

I was embarrassed and forgot that KJ had Kendall's hockey poster on the wall.

KJ made the immediate connection.

"Whoa! You're THAT Kendall Knight of the Minnesota Wild!" he said.

Kendall took a small bow and smiled.

I sat on my son's bed and Kendall sat on the desk chair.

KJ sat next to me, "What's going on mom?" he asked.

Kendall shook his head.

"Mom… Wow." He mumbled.

I sighed, "Kendall, do you remember yesterday when we talked about your dad? About how it was MY choice to not have him around?" I asked.

KJ nodded, I sighed again, "KJ, I don't want you to blame him, you have to understand that when I got pregnant with you there was a lot going on and I never told him." I said.

"Mom, it's okay. You did an awesome job raising me and I'm happy with you. I mean I'd LOVE to meet my dad but if he never knew I wouldn't want to ruin his life." KJ said I gave a look of shock to Kendall.

Kendall butted in, "KJ, you wouldn't ruin his life. He'd be blessed to have you in his life and would love you and care for you." He said putting a hand on KJ's shoulder.

"Well, KJ, this is your dad." I said gesturing to Kendall.

"Mom, you're lying." He said.

"No, I'm not, this is Kendall. He's your dad. I ran into him yesterday and I told him about you and he wanted to meet you." I said.

KJ very seriously turned to Kendall, "I don't want you to feel like you have to stay around. My mom and I are happy and if you prefer to not be around I don't want you to feel obligated to be in our lives." He said.

"I'm not going anywhere buddy." He said smiling down to our son.

KJ teared up and hugged him.

"I'm going to let you guys talk and I'm going to say hi to your uncles." I said smiling.

I left the room and closed the door and went downstairs.

All 6 pairs of eyes were on me when I entered the living room.

"I told him…" I said and smiled.

Sighs came from all 6 mouths.

I sat next to Logan and picked up my wine.

Carlos noticed the CDs on the ground and went over to them and picked one up.

"Oh my god. You still have these?" he asked looking through them.

"Wow it doesn't seem like it's been ten years." He said and placing a cd in my cd player and pushed play.

Their voices boomed through the speakers and Lily laughed and I shook my head.

Logan started singing along we all laughed. Then Kendall and KJ appeared downstairs. "Hey mom, can I go to Greg's?" he asked.

I smiled, "Sure. But be home at 8." I said.

He smiled and put on his boots and coat and walked out the door.

Kendall joined us, Logan was finishing singing and Carlos pushed the stop button on my CD player and sat back down.

"Anyone hungry?" I asked standing up.

All 7 hands went up.

I smiled and went to the kitchen Lily followed me, "Nat-Nat. You need to relax." She said.

"I have my son's father a movie star, a doctor and a Marine sitting in my living room. I'm not going to relax." I whispered.

"Nat, it's just four boys we grew up with. It's just Logan, James, Carlos and Kendall." She said gesturing to them.

I set the dish down I was carrying and leaned against the counter.

"Lily when I look at him all these feeling come flooding back and all I want to do is pull him into a hug and never let go." I said.

"Then tell him that you still love him and want him in your life." She said.

"HA! I wish it was that easy!" I said.

Lily shook her head.

"I love you Nat-Nat but you need to grow some girl balls and just tell him…" she said.

"Right let me just walk up to him and say what? 'hey sorry for keeping your son from you for ten years oh yeah by the way, I'm still madly in love with you…'" I said my voice dripping with sarcasm and rolling my eyes.

"When will you learn Nat?" Lily asked as she exited the kitchen.

I sighed cleared my head, picked up the dish and entered the living room again.

We sat and talked and caught up for hours.

Finally KJ was home and Logan looked down at his watch.

"Wow, 8 o'clock already." He said.

"Yeah I gotta go back to my hotel…" James said rubbing his knees and standing up and looking at Lily and raising his eyebrow and Lily being Lily she didn't get the hit.

"Lily he's either asking you to walk him out or go back to the hotel with him." Kenna said.

"Oh." Lily said smiling and got up.

"If I'm going to go to the hotel then I need to run home first." She said.

"I can take you." He said smiling.

Lily nodded she said good bye to us and hugged KJ and walked out with James in tow.

We all exchanged phone numbers and then Logan stood up, "I've got an early day tomorrow I have clinical." He said looking at Natasha.

She stood up and walked him out. Carlos stood up and looked at Kenna and they retired to Kenna's room.

Which left just Kendall and I in the living room, silence fell over us.

Then Kendall spoke, "Hey you got any pictures of KJ as a baby?" he asked looking at me.

"Oh yeah, TONS!" I said getting up and going into the office/computer room and returned several photo albums in tow.


End file.
